Ebonyisms

Sports&Love: Girlfriends Guide to Sports Part I

2011-06-16T17:35:00.000-05:00

The following rules apply to sports with bonus tips if your significant other is a sports lover. I have had to learn the hard way. So to all the girlfriends, here is my advice. Take it or leave it.... and good luck!

#1 The "better" team is determined by stats, projection, and who is considered the favorite by consensus.

Note: The term "better" may also be labeled arbitrarily. Avoid any misunderstandings by inquiring about the "better" team from your significant other, if they are the sports authority. This point needs to be cleared up before any matchups have taken place, or your confusion will continue.

#2 When the "better" team does not win, they are not beaten, the "better" team merely chocked. This point may also lead to confusion. Again, avoid any misunderstandings by referring to your significant other if they are the sports authority.

Note: Rule #2 applies even when "better" team is swept, beaten in game 5, or 6 in a best of 7 series. In almost any situation of the "better" team losing, the outcome is considered an upset.

#3 Do not assume your significant other will cheer for your team just because you cheer for their team.

Note:This rule still applies even if a championship title is at stake for your favorite team. Fan loyalty should not be assumed to be automatically reciprocated by your significant other. Moreover, the opposite may occur, in which your significant other may cheer against your team. Do not, I repeat, do not take this personally! Remember, this is just sports, meant for entertainment purposes only! However, if your significant other is irrational about fan loyalty for their team, proceed with caution and act accordingly to avoid future conflict.

#4 If you have your own opinions about matchups and predictions, be aware that your opinions maybe considered "simple". Note: Do not take this personally, this is just a reflection of your significant other's opinion that your interest in sports is less in-depth than his (this may or may not be true). The key here is to watch ESPN's Sports Center and listen to talk radio independently of your significant other to gain expert knowledge that can not be disputed. However, even then your sports knowledge maybe called into question, because, let's face it, you are a girl.

#5 All commentators/analysts are not considered equal. Just like there are variations in fashion authorities, the same goes for sports. Find out which sports personalities your significant idolizes. This is will give you the best insight into what goes on inside his testosterone controlled mind.

#6 There is no true off-season for your significant other's favorite sport. He likely has more than one favorite sport and if he has cable-tv or the internet he has access to specialty channels that play classic games from days gone by and sports documentaries. Sports commentary on tv or radio never ends. The off-season will be filled with conversation about trades, drafts, injuries, season projections (see point #1), and training camps. Note: Most likely the "better" team or players will be decided during the off-season, before any play has actually taken place.

#7 Watching the game with your significant other is considered quality time, even if you feel you are being ignored, it doesn't matter if you are not interested in the game. Suck it up, at least you both are in the same room. Count it as a "W".

Interesting quote about the Dallas Mavericks winning the NBA Championship.... Go Mavs!
"Sunday wasn't a night for the best players - the guys with the Nike deals and superstar labels. It was, rather, a showcase for the better team." - Brian Lowry FOX Sports Jun. 13, 2011

Are you touching my hair?

2011-04-25T22:54:00.001-05:00

Many of you may know, that I have been on a healthy hair journey for awhile now. I've been serious about it for about 2 years, and my efforts have paid off! My hair is healthy, natural, and growing : ) Sometimes, I like to wear my hair in a fro/wash and go style and sometimes I straighten it via blow dryer or flat iron. Whenever I change me hair style people notice (usually my friends from other cultures) and it can be a big deal depending on what they have been exposed to in the past. Reactions can range anywhere from staring to touching! Yes, touching... smh! People better be glad I'm not easily offended! There is this one guy at work who is especially interested in my tresses. One day while sitting at my desk I felt something touch my hair, I jumped, turned around and there was my coworker patting my recently washed hair, and pulling one of my curls! He looks at me unaware of the possible danger he was in, and says "Cool", then walks away. O_O Another day, I straightened and drop curled my hair.. and low and behold he came by my desk and touched my hair again!? Really *face palm* I'm glad I'm such a nice person, or better yet, he should be happy! I wasn't offended, but as a friendly PSA, please my fellow Americans: PLEASE, DONT TOUCH A BLACK WOMAN'S HAIR We will usually take offense to it..not sure why but we do..so consider yourself warned!! And if you don't take my advice (see below)

We are Engaged!

2011-04-25T16:27:00.001-05:00

On Friday, 4/22/2011, Steven L. asked me to marry him. I couldn't be more happy! More details and news to come. We started a website: www.ebonyandsteven.com but it won't launch until May 27, 2011. Thank you all for the text, email, phone calls, facebook posts, hugs and kisses from all those who have wished us well : D

New Beginnings

2011-01-06T15:48:00.000-06:00

A new year! 2011 has finally arrived and 2010 is now just a fading memory.....

I am not sorry to say that there is no love lost between me and 2010! I will not miss 2010.. uhhh huhhhh.. no no! Last year (I love the sound of that) may have been one of the worst years of my life. No exaggeration! I lost one too many a friend to death, finances were less than stellar, I was rejected over and over again by professors for admittance into their labs as a graduate student, completion of my PhD looked oh so bleak, my uncle put my house on the market for sale (against my will), all this added to my weight gain and depression.

But as they say, weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning! Toward the end of the year, things took a turn for the better. I got motivated and lost 11lbs., I got a job working for a small biotech company in the city where I live, sold a few puppies, and I had the most amazing Christmas/New Years by spending time with my family. The Lord worked it all out, all my problems and concerns, He fixed it all! I am truly blessed. And all the stuff that didn't get worked out yet, I'm sure, in time it will all be OK.

So, new beginnings? The new year is fresh, unsoiled, unspoiled, a clean slate! Full of opportunity and open doors. No deaths, hurts, or sorrows, yet. The future is bright, and I can feel that its going to be a great year! My life is reaching the end of a chapter and a new one is about to begin. I'm excited to see what is in store for me in 2011 : )

What's the Attire?

2010-09-16T13:26:00.000-05:00

Ever been invited to a party or some type of event, but you were unsure of the Attire? Dressy? Dressy-Casual? Casual? Black Tie???

I love to be prepared! Its the most comfortable feeling in the world to know that everything is under control, everything was planned and just waiting for execution. Maybe thats just a little OCD.. sure, I have admitted to doing 'the most', but that's just me...

I have no problem with letting the Lord lead me down a path that he wants me to go, and I have no problem waiting for the next round in this game of life. BUT, I would love to be able to plan and be prepared for whatever is gonna happen next. Which direction should I be focusing on?

What't the attire?

Eye twitch

2010-09-01T14:25:00.002-05:00

The lower lid of my left eye has been twitching/spasming for about a week. People are telling me that it could be due to nutrition, lack of sleep, and stress. Well, what do you know!? I'm probably failing in all three categories. #EpicFail *sigh*

Last week, I was really excited that I had new opportunities for research lab positions. My top choice totally played me. She wanted me to rotate (volunteer audition) for some unknown amount of time for the possibility of obtaining a position. Then she took back the offer of rotation all together, conveniently after I had already accepted the idea of competing for a chance to have a chance. *%$# !!! So I'm, back to the drawing board. Got to hunt down some new leads. I asked God for a open door or a closed door depending on if this lab would be a good fit for me, and it just so happens, that this door is closed. Wasn't meant to be.....Door #2 *looks around* ?? Although truth be told, I'm probably on door #22, by now. Did I mention my eye is twitching?

Now what? The semester has started and I don't have a job yet, my health insurance ends next month on my birthday, my birthday is next month, Steven's birthday is next month, my rent is due, my car note is due, I need to sell some dogs, my marathon training is non-existent...............................Did I mention my eye was twitching?

You got mail?

2010-08-31T20:05:00.001-05:00

Ever wish God had text messaging? Or at the very least an email address?

One of my biggest pet peeves is cliche Christianity and the random abstract sayings that go along with being a believer. A couple of my "favorites" include, 'Let the Lord direct your path','Let God into your heart'. Only because I am a seasoned and somewhat jaded Christian do I understand what meaning these little sayings are trying to convey.

What would really help me right now is if the Lord would just tell me what I'm suppose to do next. A voice from the clouds or a note on my door would be great! Whatever 'it' is, I would do, if only I knew what 'it' was :(

But alas, it doesn't work like that nowadays. I'll just continue to listen to the still small voice, look for open and closed doors, and possibly a revelation via a friend or stranger being used as a vessel.

Pray for me, that he will reveal himself to me, sooner rather than later.

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Tennis

2010-08-30T22:41:00.001-05:00

I started watching tennis just about the same time I started dating Steven. His parents are tennis fanatics! I had no prior knowledge of the game and because I didn't know what the heck was going on, I really wasn't very interested. Since I spent quite a bit of time hanging out at Steven's house when we started dating in high school, and then on through college, I had no choice but to pick up a love & passion for this great sport.

Steven's parents so kindly taught me the rules of the game, history of the Grand Slams, playing surfaces, the great players of long ago, current phenomenons, schooled me on the vocabulary (game, set,match,0,15,40, duece, service, breaks, mini-break, fault, slice, drop shot, volley, ace, rally, lob, winner, errors...... *whew*), and encouraged me which players to love (Americans) and which ones to hate (Russians).

My increased love for tennis resulted a decision to take two semesters worth of tennis while in college, at Oakwood University. I got pretty good, and Steven's parents even bought me my own racket! We usually play together on vacation, we have soooo much fun! Now if only I could get Steven to play with me more often. I think I may just get a cute coach, polish my game, get some weekly eye candy and a little personal attention, oh yeah!

The US Open just started today. Venus Williams won her opening match!!!! I feel really sorry that Serena could not participate because of her hurt foot from that freak accident :( I'm rooting for Venus to go all the way, although she is experiencing knee problems, *crossing my fingers* and hoping for the best!

If you aren't a tennis fan, I encourage you to give it a chance. It's a game of tenacity, strength of will, endurance, precision, consistency, fitness, and extreme heart! The end of a tournament can only have one champion representing one country. It's an amazing experience to watch for the entire fortnight. You won't be disappointed :)

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Sunday

2010-08-29T21:10:00.001-05:00

I have no idea what to blog about... but I have made a commitment to myself to blog everyday. Today is Sunday. Actually Sunday, night. The weekend is over. If I had a job..I would be dreading Monday morning, but nowadays I wish I was actually being productive in working toward my goals. But this blog is not a rant or a pity party!

You know what I enjoy most about Sunday? Catching up on watching random tv from my dvr, or watching Sunday quality movies on AMC or Lifetime. Sunday movies have a certain plot, age, and general quality. Its hard to explain..but if you have a tv, and you ever watch movies... you can easily see what I am talking about.

Whatever you do on Sunday, make sure you take time for yourself. Relax, eat good food, do something you enjoy, and get ready for a new week.Goodnight :) Monday is just around the corner.

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Im not a hater!

2010-08-27T22:03:00.002-05:00

Summer time is for love and weddings, lots of them. If you know me, then you would also know that I am addicted to TLC, HGTV, and Food Network. These networks have a ton of airtime dedicated to wedding stuff! Cakes, dresses, and flowers. You name it, they have a show dedicated to (fill in the blank) for your wedding. So because I watch so much of these programs, I have a pretty good idea about whats hot and whats not. Outside of my impeccable innate sense of style and quality, I have high standards. I think everyone and anyone can be GREAT with any budget.

Facebook is a great place to scout wedding pictures of friends and friends of friends. Some people have GREAT weddings and some people missed the mark completely, in my opinion. I think I am a fair judge. Yes, I do have an opinion about everything its who I am! Did I mention I'm an over achiever? and a tad bit OCD? okok more than a tad bit.....

In my 25 years and 10 months on the earth, I realized that people with strong opinions may be classified as "Haters". Why hate? Because they stand out from the crowd and demand more out of life?? I don't know, I'll do some more research and get back with you.

I have dated the the love of my life for 9 years. Yes 9 years. Many people who find out this fact get a little antsy and start asking a bunch of questions. "When are ya'll going to get married?" , "What's taking so long?", "What are ya'll waiting on?". I'm sure many people probably look at me with sympathy because to them, I haven't been able to get my boyfriend of 9 years to commit, there must be something wrong with me, us, our relationship. All this speculation couldn't be further from the truth.

So back to the hating topic. A friend of a friend spontaneously got married recently, and I was talking to my friend about the goings on..... girl chit-chat. Out of the blue a person who shall not be named commented about how I was a hater, and implied that I was secretly wishing that I was married and was in the position of all these women who had recently gotten married over the summer. *Shocked* I didn't know how to react from being blindsided like that! Was my opinion of peoples weddings and my opinions about the life choices of people coming across as "hating"????? That was the last thing I want people to think about me!

Here is the God honest truth, for the record. I am happy with my relationship. I am happy that we have made the choice to not get married as of yet. What my boyfriend and I have decide to do, is working for US. I don't want to take the easy route and have a mediocre life, I want to be GREAT!

Could some of these couples have made better life decisions, in my opinion... some of them YES. But at the end of the day, they have to wake up in the morning and live with the consequences of their actions.. just like I do.

So, to settle things once and for all, I am not jealous, or a hater. I have a strong opinion, I'm sorry you are offended by my truthfulness. Please, don't project your insecurities on me. I'm not perfect, but I LOVE being me :)

Just like my blog tagline says... If you have a problem with me and what I do, take it personal. Ha! #thatisall

Open Door?

2010-08-26T20:30:00.003-05:00

Last June I left/was fired/ran out of funding from my research laboratory. It was absolutely devastating! Although I reeeeaaaallly didn't get much research done during my time in the lab (another story), the idea of having to start over and having to find new advisor to finish my PhD work was one of the worst things that could have happened to my graduate student career.

Add in the pressure of supporting myself without my cushy stipend, friends and friends of friends asking "Are you done with school yet?", "How is school going?". Explaining to the average person what people in science do, and convincing Joe Blow that grad school, especially in the sciences, IS DIFFICULT and will generally take more than 4 years to complete. So if you add in a lack of research lab for a year, you can just extend your grad career for at least the time you missed :( Most people just don't get it.... *sigh*

I blogged last time that I was borderline depressed. Well, this is one of the reasons why. I have been in academic limbo, and for an overachiever with a master plan for my life, this set back was almost more than I could bear. My only hope is that God's master plan for my life is better than mine. A hard pill to swallow.

Did you know we are in a recession? Well, apparently the academic science community is suffering and taking a huge hit because they lack funding. You know what that means for the unemployed grad student looking for a lab? Yeah, that's right...its extra hard to find a professor who is willing to spend money on acquiring a new student via unconventional means. I have talked to so many professors who told me how much they would love to take me, but they don't have space or money. Gee, thanks for nothing! I have also had at least three professors tell me that they wouldn't be able to take me until the spring, and when the spring came around, they were unable to fulfill their original offer to take me. Door closed, in my face.... ARG!

At this point, I was thinking (am thinking), that maybe the Lord just brought me to grad school so I could get some experience, pick up a Masters, meet some people, expand my horizons. Maybe the PhD wasn't in my master plan? Maybe I was suppose to go go to med school... pharmacy school... law school... or maybe I'm suppose to teach and be a housewife, baking cookies and carpooling????? It just seemed like all the doors were closing and nothing was opening up for me??? What was I suppose to do next? Staying in College Station was getting more and more difficult to justify.

Well..... last week I got some information about a symposium where a bunch of professors who have funding and space were going to present research to recruit grad students. The symposium was focused on genetic grad students, but I went anyway to scout for a biochemistry project to tickle my fancy.

Today was the symposium. It started at 930am. I thought it would be an hour or a hour and a half max. The meeting lasted 3.5 hours! I haven't sat that long in long time :( There were some very interesting labs and some not so much. Now I need to create a short list of professors I'm interested in working with, and make contact with them quickly. They all desperately need grad students and they all have funding and space! Is this a door opening for me, finally?

Of course I have more questions. Do I want to work for a woman or a man? An old lab or new lab? Small lab or large lab? More postdocs/techs or more undergrads? The questions are endless, and my decision is very important! I can't afford another flop.

Im going to think & pray about it over the weekend and try to make something happen on Monday. If you are reading this, pray that the right door will open for me. Apparently, God is in control and he is constantly trying to teach me that He is in control, always. #fact

Self Imposed Filtered

2010-08-24T21:18:00.002-05:00

So I have been leery to blog for quite some..well a very long time, because I didn't want my blog to be know as an angry rant. So I imposed this filter on myself and I ended up completely filtering all my thoughts that were probably blog worthy. I am going to make an effort to do better and blog more.

My life has been in a general sucky place (and yes, sucky is a word). I have been out of research lab for over a year, Ive been beyond broke, and my weight is semi-out of control. Don't get me wrong.. Im blessed with family, friends, a car, house, and food on my table. BUT, I think I have been borderline depressed. I know I put too much pressure on my self, similar to the blog filter, but I am an over achiever at heart, its in my DNA so to speak.

My new declaration is to blog more. I will blog all the randomness that flows through my brain... I can only be me, me and all my Ebonyisms :)

Puppies for Sale

2010-02-13T21:14:00.010-06:00

We have puppies! If you are looking for an wonderful new addition to your family take a look at our beautiful Yorkshire Terriers! Champion Bred & CKC Registered. Tails have been docked, front/hind dew claws have been removed.

All pups are potty trained/crate trained, and family raised with extra TLC :)

I have 2 pups from a previous litter. 1 male-- Sweet personality, very playful, doesn't bark, potty and crate trained. <<<>>>> $500

Chocolate female only 3.3lbs!! Very rare color! Sweet personality, great energy, loves to play and have fun! $1000

NEWEST LITTER!!

Born 1/3/10

2 Black and tan boys! TINY only 15oz and 17oz. 1 female 17oz cute as a button!! $800

Both parents on site. Here is a snap shot of Dad (AKC-Champion Bloodline) & Mom (CKC)

Willing to negotiate. Looking for loving and happy homes for puppy adoption :) Serious buyers, please call

979-209-0292 or email bcsyorkies@gmail.com

Twitter & Twikini

2009-06-14T22:05:00.005-05:00

So in case you havent heard.. there is a new social networking phenomenon called Twitter. The best way I can describe it is a chat room/facebook status update bar. It allows people to communicate in 140 character microblogs about what they are doing, feeling, eating, going while also engage the community in meaninful or not so meaningful diaglog about #something. Its GREAT and I LOVE IT!!!

The best way to use this service is to on your mobile device, preferably a smartphone with an application such as Twikini. This app allows you to tweet to people you follow send pics links, and it has a cool icon window so that you can see your friends avatar/pic icon. Its the best twitter app I have used on my Windows Moble device, Sprint Touch Pro. Check it out!

Follow the following people for the best Twitter Experience:

@ehammond84

@slaihingpg3blog

@trniii

@silversilx

@kmbar

@adavis10

@masterluke103

@theperfectverse

@pink82

@rlsay

@pjenks

@nathan0428

@codemaker

@nikkers

@quickstar

@alicer05

@bball_child

Jump on twitter and enjoy it via Twikini!!!

Our Christian Duty?

2009-04-22T14:19:00.005-05:00

This past week I have had a rather uncomfortable and rather negative encounter with a fellow Christian who is in authority at our local church.

Without going into details, I have been reprimanded for watching Eddie Murphy, Raw, standup comedy routine. If you haven't seen it and you don't know what its about click here for a mini summary. The content is very Adult content with crude language. The problems they had with my choice of entertainment is listed here with the scripture to back up their points:

1) Behavior consistent with someone in a relationship with Jesus Christ - Due to the cursing and sexual innuendos.

Scripture: James 3:11 “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?”

EGW/ Others: By beholding we become changed - (from various complilations- Christian Cliche)

2) Content is not Pure and Lovely

Scripture: Phillipians 4:8 - "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

3) A person enjoying this entertainment fails the faith test

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 13:5 - Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.

The person felt they were justified in judgment and reprimand justified based on the following Scriptual Charge:

Ezekiel 33:6

But if the watchman sees the enemy coming and doesn’t sound the alarm to warn the people, he is responsible for their captivity. They will die in their sins, but I will hold the watchman responsible for their deaths.’

Matthew 18:15-17

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

The questions I have are:

1) What obligation do we have to our felow Christians?

2) When is a Christian gone to far in relaying thier personal beliefs to someone they feel is doing wrong? Are they ever justified? WHERE IS THAT LINE?!?

3) Is cursing a sin? or being crude sinful?

I’m not really sure how I feel about Christians pointing out other Christian's perceived sins? I’m personally don't see a situation where I would tell someone what I thought about their "sins" unless they asked me my opinion, or if we were very close and taking such liberties would not be attributed to nosiness. One exception to my listed theory is if the "sin" was putting their life or someone else’s life in immediate danger. And I definitely don't want to violate the Biblical warning by Jesus regarding judging others:

Matthew 7:1-5 Judging Others

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ³"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

For the last point, I don't believe cursing or being crude is a sin (nor do I believe in the so-called stumbling block theory or its subsequent dangers). I think there are things that we do that our society has deemed socially acceptable or not, this does not automatically constitute those things that are not socially acceptable sin. This is just not logical. On the other hand we as Christians should be working to adopt a Christ like behavior... so I don't know how all this works out.

I would love to hear your thoughts!

How you livin'?

2009-03-13T13:39:00.003-05:00

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been pondering what it means to be a Christian and a Seventh - day Adventist?

So.. I have had many friends who are no longer Adventist because of some drama that has happened in the church that has caused them to either feel that they can no longer live up to the "standard" or they feel they don't want to put themselves through all the hoop-jumping that goes hand in hand with SDA culture.

Don't get me wrong. I am a strong believer in standards that should be clearly stated. People need direction and definite guidelines, otherwise people do what the "feel" is best and we get some kind of hodgeposh organized chaos. Example, when Casual Friday was first introduced into corporate America it sounded like a GREAT idea. This gave the company the opportunity to let their employees express themselves and increase office moral. The aim was to decrease stuffy professional standoffness and encourage people to interact on a more personal level just by changing out of their suits and putting on a cute pair of jeans and those funky colored shoes you picked up but had no place to wear them... But as usual, best made plans..... People started taking this self expression toooooo far! Hawaiian shirts, miniskirts, see through shirts men & women, athletic wear and the list goes on. People started losing their minds! Guess what happened next? Yup, someone had to set Casual Friday dress code/guidelines and now we have a new phrase in the English dictionary, "Dressy Casual". What does this new term mean? You can break from the suits and loafers and express yourself in a more causal way, but all the aforementioned items are now on the no-no list. This is a extended example of how things get out of control when everyone is left to define the rules themselves instead of providing a standard for living and doing.

Far too often people pass along traditions as the golden standard without investigating why the standard was introduced in the first place. Imagine, if you will, the earth has someone managed to survive another 2000 years. People are still working in cubicles, unfortunately, and they still participate in Casual Fridays. The no jean rule survived all this time (and yes, so did jeans), and possible expanded to: no jeans on Friday period. People feel that it is the ultimate disrespect for a person to wear jeans to work on Friday. Why do they feel so strongly about this? Most likely the origin of Casual Friday has been forgotten, but people probably traditionally passed on the information that wear jeans to work on Friday is bad. Are jeans themselves bad? No. Is is bad to wear jeans on Friday? No! But if nobody goes back and thinks about what the people who introduced the standard were trying to accomplish the meaning is lost, and people are merely following tradition for tradition sake out of context.

This is a really expanded analogy, but I hope you get my point. Adventist have many traditionally motivated dos and don'ts. Because I have been an SDA all my life... I have heard every argument known to man, but rarely do I hear people discuss the "rules" in context to make sense in their own lives. Instead people want to blindly justify what they have always done.. simply because this is something they have always done. On the other hand you have the people who have lived the life aka the been rebellious and have had a conversion experience. This person wholly clings to the rules and regulations regardless how trivial, simply because they feel they need to make up for the time when they didn't follow the rules or they need to strictly follow the rules so they don't slip back into their old lifestyle. I get the impression that they feel that they believe true conversion must be difficult, painful, and extreme. Yes, yes... this is an generalization and not everyone fits into this little box, but that bring me to my next point.

I read a quote the other day, "The cross you bear is customized". Oh how true this is! The "rules" of the church should be viewed more as guidelines than absolute mandates. Don't get me wrong, there are some absolutes i.e. The Ten Commandments. But the other so-called-rules (Biblically based or otherwise) should be analyzed in context to where they were found and the general idea that is trying to be conveyed. There is alot of grey in the Bible and I think there is a reason for this. Everyone is different and we all have had different experiences that mold and shape our personalities, weaknesses and strengths.

To be safe everyone should use this guide, "Nothing between my soul and my Savior". In other words, don't let anything affect your relationship with Christ, our ONLY hope of salvation! This is a very personalized statement. And our maker and designer knows that we are all different, so He left somethings in the grey when giving us "rules". He knows what things we can handle and what things we cannot. Example, sexual relationships before marriage. Our maker knew that this extremely intimate bond is not something to be taken lightly. Our body chemistry changes to accept our partner and form a intimate connection that will last FOREVER. This is a non-negotiable guideline that was given to us in the Bible. There are many examples in the Bible and in real life where sexual relationships have impaired judgment and have cause long-term psychological damage that can not be reversed. If we would only follow what God has told us, we would be so much better off. And that’s the point.

However there are other so-called rules such as jewelry that has become such a buzz-words we have banished people to the far ends of the earth for violating this SDA mandate! I believe this is totally a traditionally propagated "rule" that needs to be evaluated by every person within the church. Again, I have heard all the argument and I can predict what the opposition will say before they say it, and to you I say... OUT OF CONTEXT! If we go back to the rule of thumb for determining if something is important to your Christian journey, "Nothing between my soul and my Savior", it is clear that this is a personal matter. Some people can be completely obsessed with jewelry. These people should evaluate there connection with inanimate objects and determine that their actions are preventing them from fully having an intimate relationship with their Father, Jesus Christ. These people should not wear or purchase any form of jewelry because it weakens your connection with Christ, not because your pastor can find an obscure verse in the Bible that refers to God instructing the Israelites to remove their jewelry. On the other hand if you are like me, I have lost every mood ring that I have ever purchased. I have no desire to wear jewelry, I would for a special occasion, but its just not that deep, this is not what would keep me from Jesus. Shoes.. maybe..lol

Jesus only gives us instruction on how to make the relationship He has with us better! He wants to be my friend, my lover, my everything. He doesn't want to come second to anyone or anything. Christ is not trivial and he doesn't waste his breath giving us meaningless instruction. Everything he asks us to do is for our own good, to keep us healthy or in a focused direct connection with Him.

I know someone is reading this and think, "What about being a stumbling block"? That’s for another blogpost soon to come. Worry about keeping and maintaining your relationship with Christ strong and healthy and the rest will follow. Be an example of how Christ is working in your life and not merely for the sake of being an example. God doesn't need you to reform people, He needs you to become like Him and all the other pieces will fall into place.

In conclusion, let us stop referring to the Church manual as the ultimate guideline for how to be a Christian, but look to Christ example about how to cultivate and enhance our relationship with our father. Remember, "Nothing between my soul and my Savior", and let us have the attitude that our cross is customized for maximum transformation. Analyze everything to see if what you have been told in given in context and if it applies to your life. Stop doing things for tradition sake and start living life personalized to bring you ultimate happiness in Christ.

Don't Hate on Valentines Day

2009-02-13T13:16:00.003-06:00

So tomorrow is Valentines Day and over the past week I have heard numerous people making comments about how they HATE Valentines day :( The news/media is also on this anti-Vday bandwagon. I wonder why?

Here are the top 5 reason people hate Valentines Day:

1. Its a commercial/capitalistic "holiday" or "Its not a real holiday.. someone made it up, therefore we should not celebrate it! "
2. "I don't have a Valentine"
3. "I don't need to spend money on someone to tell them I love them"
4. "The day is for couples only.. I'm single"
5. "Romance sucks! I don't like people being sappy!"

Lets go through this to dispel some of the myths of Valentines so that everyone can enjoy this special day :)

Check out the History Channel's website.. they have a great write up on the History of Valentines Day . If you don't want to do all that reading.. Basically St. Valentine did not appreciate the decree for Emperor Claudius II (270AD) in which he forbade all the young men to marry, because single men without children made a better crop of soldiers. So St. Valentine secretly wed soldiers until he was caught and executed. Another version of the story states that St. Valentine actually aided Christians in escaping brutality and death by the Romans. Depending on which version of the story you want to believe, St. Valentine was a martyr for love, romance, and justice. The day was not set aside as a holiday until 490AD.

Read up on the spokes person for the holiday,Cupid. Great story about how love conquers all even though we mess things up in our relationships.. true love brings us back together :) There are also some other pegan association with the day that links to fertility and purification.

There is much more to the history of this holiday, but it every story over the ages has a reoccurring theme that presents itself.. LOVE! Love for the oppressed, love for a special person in your life, love for family, love for justice and country. You can't argue with that!

People often are bitter about this holiday (yes, we have already established that this is indeed is a real holiday) because most people are not in a relationship during this time. So what! Get over yourself and stop wallowing in self-pity! Take this opportunity to love yourself! Send flowers to your desk at work, or go get a pedicure, get an extra slice of cheesecake to reward yourself for working hard and paying the bills. No one said this day is for couples only. Love can come in all forms and don't let the media or meddling family members rob you of having special time to reflect and pamper yourself.

And for those religious people who don't like the statement about loving yourself..... you can reflect on the love Christ showed us when he died on the cross for our sins. The greatest love story ever describes the love that Christ has for the pitiful, worthless, sinners that make up the human race. Even in our sinful state he loved us and died for us so that one day we could be reunited with him forever. (Romans 5:8, John 14)

And if the above reasons are not enough.. You can take the day to love on your mother, sister, aunt, godmother, little old lady in your complex or at the nearby retirement center/nursing home. And yes I just listed women, but the day is for men too, they need love :) They might not want a dozen balloons tied to their desk at work, but thy can appreciate a manly Herschy's chocolate bar or white chocolate crunch bar with a note telling them home much you appreciate and cherish their freindship etc.

Now for my socialist friends who are anti-capatalistic and resent the commercialism of holidays in general. I probably should try to be more sensitive to your viewpoint...... but.... I can't! Especially in the current economic status of America we NEED some commercialism. The only thing that will get us out of this recession is going to be the American people spending money. If the people spend > companies make a profit> if there is profit they will increase workers> more workers=more income> more income=more spending .. and vvvvwwwaaaaahhhllllaaaaaa we are out of a recession. Yes, this is an oversimplified scheme, but you get the point. When people get scared of losing everything, they hoard. Spending money on this holiday is like giving to the charity named, "Boost the Economy". Tagline: A portion of the proceeds will go tword re-energizing the economy, creating jobs, and you can bring some happiness to a loved one! Still don't agree?? What?? You don't need to spend money to show your loved one that you care??? YES, you are correct, but what does it hurt (unless u are going in debt to do so)? Everything cost something! Either in actual cost of purchase or by loss of potential income (you taking time off of work). It takes more time and energy to avoid capitalism in America than to actually participate and spread the love around. Valentines day was not created just so you would have to buy conversation hearts and Godiva chocolate! It just so happens that these things are enjoyed by people who celebrate the day. Who cares is NECCO has more profit this year? Have they somehow violated some social contrct? Did they steal your paycheck or garnish wages without your knowledge? You should be thankful people still have jobs and some little girl is happy because her crush thought enough about her to spend his milk money to bring a smile to her face. If I havn't convinced you .. then maybe you should move to another country, maybe a communistic country where everyone is sad because of oppression and you can spend your money buying a bullet proof vest for survival instead of flowers for your mother.

I think I have said enough. I wish everyone a HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! If you are broke.. give 10 people a kiss (Herschy or otherwise) tomorrow and if you got some spare change in your pocket give 12 roses to 12 people who are special to you. Either way spread the love around <3

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOOX

Take It Personal!

2009-02-10T18:59:00.001-06:00

So I was in the car driving back from my mini-weekend trip from Dallas, and I had XM Satellite radio playing. The station was set on Jamie Foxx's new station, The Foxxhole (149). Its the bomb (I don't know if that lingo is still hot..probably not, but I digress)! So on this particular station they have a mixture of comedy, live talk show, and all types of music--Old school/New school/Neo Soul/ R&B. So a song came named, "Take it personal", by GangStarr. The lyrics to this '92 hit goes as follows:

I never thought that you would crab me Undermine me and backstab me
But I can see clearly now the rain is gone
The pain is gone but what you did was still wrong
There was a few times I needed your support
But you tried to play me like an indoor sport
like racquetball tennis fool whatever
All I know is you attempted to be clever
Nevertheless cleverness can't impress
Cause now you've been expose like a person undressed
cause I see through you, I'm the Guru
Now what you gonna do when I step to you
and when I pay you back I'll be hurting you
This ain't no threat so take it personal
Rap is an art you can't own no loops
It's how you hook em up and the rhyme style troop
So don't even think you could say someone bit
off your weak beat come on you need to quit
I flip lines and kick rhymes that never sound like yours
There oughtta be laws against you yapping your jaws
Originality overflows from in me
and the truth is, that you wish you could live the
life I live and kick the lyrics I kick
But bear in mind that you can't think as quick
So Premier drops a beat, for me to say verses to
And if I sound doper then take it personal
Don't be mad cause I don't come around the way
like I used to, I don't have time these days
I'm keeping busy making power moves
Don't try to say I don't remember you
You shouldn't let your jealousy show like that
I stopped coming by, cause of the way you act
Telling my business to kids I don't even know
You're like a daytime talk show, and that's low
So you can tell everyone, that I'm jerking you
And if you don't like it, take it personal

HAHAHA! Crucial lyrics! This definitely goes with my mantra. Keep it real only if you want me to keep it real too!

Too many times are people confrontational about how they are living or better yet.. how you are living! All in your face saying whatever they want just because they can. But these same people are too fragile to handle any type of commentary from you, even though it may be beneficial for them to hear. Example...

Example #1

When I was younger, I was अ free spirit! My parents raised us, my brother and I, to be self sufficient and trained up to be able to make smart decisions with input from them when decisions were extremely complicated or when decision we made they knew would have long term detrimental effects on our lives. Don’t misunderstand me, my parents ALWAYS had the final say, but they never wanted us to be so dependent on them, that we would never be able to grow up. Many people didn’t like my parent’s methodology. We had many conflicts with my friend’s parents, telling us that we need more discipline and supervision. They told my parents that my brother would end up being a criminal and I would end up pregnant. We were labeled the problem children. This foolishness could not have been further from the truth! Behind the scenes, what was really going on was that THEIR children were the problem kids. Mischievous, lying, promiscuous, back talking, sneaking around, smoking, drinking… you name it they were doing it! We would try to help our shady friends out! Try to keep them from going too far and reeling them back in to safety. It didn’t matter.. we still got blamed for everything. The majority of those people who we grew up with are “out there” doing the things that they were doing secretly as children, but are now adults with their problem in the light. Now everyone can see the difference between my brother and I versus the other supposedly good kids. Its hilarious! Ok, not really, but it is sobering that the people who took so much effort scrutinizing how we were being raised, didn’t take equal amount of effort to examine their own parenting techniques and the lives of their children. They should have kept it real with themselves and maybe they could have been better parents to their children.

Example #2

My little sister is 16yrs old and is a little spit fire! She is the ultimate daddy's little girl, spoiled rotten (no hate here). My parents decided to take her out of the local Adventist academy and send her to boarding academy. She didn't want to go, neither did many of the people in my home town. Concern for a child in your community is admirable, but many people took it too far! They asked my parents.. "Have you prayed about this?", "Have you asked her if she wants to go?"... They also made comments like.. "I don't think you should send her!", "If she were my child I wouldn't send her...", "We hope she doesn't go..", "We think you are making a mistake and you will be sorry". What?! Are you kidding me!? How dare they! If ever either of my parents even made a suggestion about what some of these people did with their children.. it would have been an all out-in your face- "don't tell me what to do with my child"- neck rolling- cussing and screaming- fiasco. So why did these same people feel justified for saying these things to my parents??

Example #3

Since I am new to blogging and this may be read by people who don't know me. I have been in a relationship with Steven L for almost 8 years. We meet in summer before senior year of high school and began dating shortly after. We dated all through college and we are still together. Many of our friends who meet during college are now married and some have even started families. This is really nice :) However, many people do not understand why Steven and I haven't tied the knot...jumped the broom.... entered into eternal bliss.. We tell people that we want to finish school (we are both in PhD programs at TAMU). We have a plan that is working for us, so why do so many people feel the need to harass us constantly about when our wedding plans will become finalized? Why does it matter to these people? What is good for some may not be good for all. And truth be told, far too many of the people who ran to the altar, will probably end up running to the courthouse to dissolve their silly union for reason I will discuss in a later post. Why is patience, especially in a supposed lifelong commitment wrong? I’m just keeping it real because they feel it’s necessary.

Example #4

If you read my introductory blog post, you would have noticed that I mentioned my political associations. I am NOT a liberal. I disagree with many of the liberal political policies. I find it interesting that many people who look like me (black folks), refuse to appreciate that fact that other people (blacks especially) might have a different political stand point. I have been berated by many people about my view that are different from theirs. Why is this such a problem, when the majority of these people couldn't give me a solid support for the things they "believe in", so why attack me? Do my viewpoints offend you in some way other than your ignorance of the subject at hand? If I were to actually respond to the harassment I receive it wouldn't be so nice and many people would have their feeling hurt by their blatant lack of understanding. Now, don't get me wrong there are some educated people who disagree with me, that's cool. But the name of the game should be... Stay informed, come to your own conclusions, READ, and discuss with other people to confirm your understanding on a topic. Don't take what people tell you as sole truth. Most of the time people are lying and making up stuff to get you to go along with their plan.

Bottom line, be careful about the comments you make when your objective is "keeping it real". Let me do me... you do you.. and we can all be happy! But if you insist on being in my business and you find you don't like how or what I do.. then TAKE IT PERSONAL!

The Introduction

2009-02-10T13:38:00.000-06:00

Hi, My name is Ebony and I have a blog.

I never thought this would happen! My boyfriend set me up! The reason I was so anti-blogging was because much of what I think, say, or do is sooooo contradictory mainstream, I fear being offensive. Secondly, the internet can be a scary place. Once something is published be it a photo, comment, or something as detailed as a blog.. its out in cyber world FOREVER! I want to one day run for a public office and I don't want something I said years ago coming back to haunt me later. Just like Obama wrote that essay in kindergarten or third grade about wanting to become President and it resurface 40years later!

Anyways... Listed below are 25 random thing about me

1. I am the oldest child of 3

2. I am originally from Dallas, TX

3. Attended Oakwood College (now University) 2002- 2005

4. Attended private Adventist school for 16yrs

5. Biochemistry PhD student at Texas A&M University

6. Own 2 Yorkies ( Max & Felicity)

7. Bought my first car in July 2008

8. Bought my first house Nov 2007

9. Hate standard definition TV

10. I won't drink tap water

11. I am very handy! I installed my own R.O water treatment system, and I own a drill/driver

12. I am a political conservative, yes, not all black people are liberals!

13. My favorite shows that I must DVR: Lost, The Game, House, Fringe, Jeopardy, Young and the Restless, As the World Turns, and Mad Men

14. I refuse to watch network tv shows in their first season (been burned too many times)

15. In a relationship with Steven L since June 2001

16. I have a hard time maintaining female relationships

17. Cooking is relaxing to me! I love to put love in food :)

18. My hair is natural, I transitioned during fall 2002 (7years no chemical relaxers..wow!)

19. I have worn glasses/contacts since 9th grade

20. I have creptitus

21. My core body temperature is always 97.2

22. My eyes change color brown-hazel-green

23. I have never broken a bone, but I did tear my rotator cuff while playing badminton

24. I ऍम a PGK (pastor's grand-kid)

25. I am a progressive Seventh-Day Adventist-- this just means I don't believe in all the folklore that is the Adventist culture.

Want more about me stuff????? I'll post more later :)

About this blog:

I want to do topics that are interesting to read. If you wanted to be bored, you could just read your text book or the manual to the refrigerator. Here are some things to look for.....

The Journey -Losing Weight

Black and Conservative- My Perspective on Politics

Observations- Social Commentary

Hmmmmmmm- Cooking Tips/Recipes/Pics

The Groove- Everything Musical

Life Lessons- Things I've learned and need to share

Love Inc. - Relationship reflections & Advice

Closer to Him- Spiritual Enlightenment

....more to come???

Well, I hope you enjoy reading what I have to say! I'll do my best to keep the posts coming and interesting!

Love ya cyberworld! Until next time.... deuces!

Ebony doesn't know this, but she now has a blog.

2009-02-06T14:34:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone, I'm Steven from Page 3. My beautiful girlfriend, Ebony, is a very good writer with a lot of great thoughts and ideas, as well as a wonderful sense of humor and a level headedness not seen that much anymore. I have been begging her to share her ideas and thoughts with everyone through a blog, but she doesn't want to put stuff out there. Well, now I don't know if she has a choice. I created a blog for her, and she doesn't know about it (yet). I want everyone to know how good a writer and how good a mind she has, and, perhaps more selfishly, I want to read what she thinks :) . Hopefully she runs with this idea, or I am in hot water.